Take my advice, just block your ex on Facebook. Block them on WhatsApp and on Gmail and on any social network that you know they have a presence. Trust me, you will thank me for this later.
You do not want to go through the experience of browsing Facebook one day and coming across an album that they just uploaded featuring the new love of their life! I mean, seriously? The breakup happened barely a few weeks ago, how can someone be dating already?
It’s even worse when they put up an album with their fiancé or even spouse. This one can be a real shocker, no matter how much time passes by. You may have not seen each other in years, but suddenly being confronted with a graphic reminder of how they are no longer in your life can be traumatising.
Last week I had returned from a trip to Ouli with my friends and was updating all the travel photos on Facebook and generally talking with the people who were online. I refreshed the page to see a new album show up at the top. It was my ex.
I did not think I would be disturbed by this, but I was so wrong.
I had heard about the marriage, but told myself that I did not care. Seeing those pictures made me realise that no matter how long it has been, when you have been that close with someone, there will always be a twinge of disappointment to see them gone forever into the arms of someone else.
That is the way life works. I know that it is simply not practical for me to get back with my ex, the marriage issue notwithstanding. We were too different and had ended things on a relatively peaceful note. I shudder to think what my reaction would have been if things had ended more violently, and with a bit more drama.
It is not the fact that you still love your ex. A part of you always will miss them.
That is just the way the world works. So why torture yourself unnecessarily? Whether you just broke up, or have been apart for years, every time you look at their face, you are definitely going to feel something. It may be hate at first, or an irresistible desire to get them back, then it can slowly evolve into regret and self-pity. You cannot do anything to avoid them in real life. Unless one of you changes city or country, odds are that you two share a lot of common friends and will run into each other at times. So why give them the opportunity to do the same to your online world as well?
Merely removing them from the friend list is not enough. Unless you were that rare couple who did not have a single mutual acquaintance, there will be times when their face will pop up on your Facebook when a mutual friend likes their status update or comments on their photo or congratulates them on the new job. A friend could share a new photo in which they are with your ex. Every single time that you see that face, it will suck. You may tell yourself that the two of you are never getting back together, but the history that you have shared will never go away.
So just do me a favour and block them today. I wish I had someone who could not only tell me to do this, but force me somehow. I really hope that you take my advice.