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If Facebook existed in ancient times

The internet is a fairly recent phenomenon, barely half a century old. Facebook made an appearance even more recently. It is hard to imagine life without either of them. Everyone you know is on Facebook. Your friends, your relatives, your favourite celebrities, and even the people who you do not get along well with. It is a world of its own and boasts of a user base that is in the billions.

It makes communication easier, it lets you tell everyone you know how you have been doing and what are the important things to have happened to you recently. It lets others do the same and helps you keep in touch with everyone that you want to keep a tab on.

Imagine for a moment if Facebook had existed in ancient times as well. Nothing else had changed, people still needed to do everything else in the same way that they always have, yet Facebook was available to them as if by magic. How would Facebook have looked like then?

Facebook in the times of cavemen

Picture the first caveman who figured out how to make fire. He would surely have wanted to tell everyone about it!

“Just discovered fire lol” he would post. His community would have quickly shared and liked the update and his post would spread across the world like, well, fire. Suddenly everyone would know how to make fire and keep themselves warm.

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The Ramayana on Facebook

Ravana would send a friend request to Sita. Ram would get furious at this and tell Sita to block Ravana, then he would leave with Laxman to gather food. Ravana would make a fake account of a beggar and send another friend request to Sita. Sita, unknowingly would accept this request, giving Ravana the chance he wanted.

Ram would then go on to challenge Ravana to a match on Mafia Wars. Both sides would call on their friends and families in a bid to win. All of this would ultimately end with Ram winning, and Ravana having to deactivate his account and give up his internet privileges.

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All wars to be fought on Facebook

Nations would wage wars on Facebook. Instead of bullets and bombs, the weapon of choice will be Poke. Whoever fails to Poke back loses automatically. Instead of competing for arms, countries compete for arts and culture. Every nation shares the best photos and videos of their citizens, and the country with the most like wins.

Romeo and Juliet would never have to die

Granted that they are fictional characters, but just imagine how much more convenient it would have been to communicate with each other when your parents do not want you to meet? Juliet could simply tell Romeo in private that she was faking her own death. Everything would have gone according to plan, and the greatest love story of this world would have had a happy ending.

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Jesus would have preached on Facebook

Imagine how much safer the world would have been in ancient times if they had Facebook. Jesus Christ could just preach using status updates, and no one would ever doubt that he was the Son of God, if he took a picture of him walking on water and made it his profile picture.

The British would never have colonised half the world

News travels fast over the internet. As the first British envoys landed in India, they would no doubt post a selfie on Facebook with the locals. Countries like America, which had already been colonised would simply comment on the update and warn other countries to not let the British into their homes. The same would hold true for Spain and Portuguese, the two other countries that were in the race to colonise the world. The British had a superior navy, but they were few in numbers. They came as businessmen and slowly transformed into overlords. With advance warning, this could have been easily prevented.

About Aditi Jhalani

Aditi Jhalani, holds years of experience and has a special interest in writing on satirical subjects. Making people laugh and learn at the same time satisfies the writer in her. Not just these, the writer holds experience in writing for technology, IT, fashion and numerous other subjects. She was previously a fashion designer but discovered that she penning down her thoughts on paper was more interesting.

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