It happens only in India
Sometimes it appears that we Indians are a different breed of species. We have numerous idiosyncrasies, issues and motives. Anything that we imbibe or absorb from any culture is always first garbed in an Indian vestment before being worn by us.
Here are some eye-catching stuff that the great Indians Gym-enthusiasts do in gymnasiums that make them appear a class apart from everyone else
1. Click! Click! Click!
Although I will be wrong if I attribute this solely to Indians, yet this habit of capturing selfies and instagramm-ing, whatsapp-ing and facebook-ing those snaps are most predominant among Indians. Because they are not just showing off their mood, physique and the implements they have used in the gym, but also trying to portray themselves as the ‘cool gym habitués’.
Can they be trusted not to chatter? Indians are born to talk and Indian gymmers are hardly solitary reapers who work out assiduously to reach a certain fitness benchmark. Instead, they frequent the gym in pairs (bros and gals) and chat endlessly about everything.
It is slightly incredible that one should use one’s phone while working out. But trust us Indians to multitask and make sure that the WhatsApp messages don’t go unanswered and the videos don’t go unwatched. The gym is like a place to catch up with one’s social contacts and yes…work out too I guess…
4. Eating chhole bhature after the workout
Right after sweating it while doing cardio or aerobic exercises, our great Indian gymmers will head to the nearest street food joint and order a plate of chhole bhatoore or pav bhaji or just plain momos (because they are on a diet, you see!)
5. Eating during a workout
It is quite natural to have a bottle of water by your side and take occasional swigs in between exercises. However, having a full-fledged lunchbox which consists of not just energy drinks but sugary fizzy drinks as well is not exactly helping you lose weight.
6. Wearing skinny jeans and tight clothes to the gym
It is probably seen as a fashion statement owing to Bollywood protagonists being shown doing crunches and stretches in sexy clothing. I guess that is why people come to the gym bedecked in tight smothering tees and skinny jeans instead of loose and comfortable clothing suitable for exercises.
7. Crash Course
It is the Great Indian Students’ mindset of doing last minute preparation the night before exams and their ability to ace the exams with the aid of such a ‘crash course’ that makes them believe that they could carve a shortcut to a fit body and a six-pack instead of a long and arduous journey to fitnessville. Sadly friends, exercise is a slow process whose rewards can be earned only by sweating it out.
8. Hero Worship
Then there are fanatics who would want to achieve the highest level of fitness expertise. They enter the gym keeping in mind Kareena’s size zero or Abraham’s sexy hot bod. And they will drive the gym instructor crazy asking them to train in such a way that would endow them with the exact same figure as that of their fitness deity. Phew! Hero worship!
9. Taking escalators
It’s often written on a poster right above the escalator asking you to ‘please use the stairs in order to stay fit’. However, the gymmers are confident that they are doing enough to stay fit so that any unhealthy craving, any violation of diet is permissible as long as they go to their gym daily, even if to just chat and socialize.
10. Making passes at hot women
‘Do you want to be ‘FRANDS’ with me?’
Some gym-goers join the gym purely with a motive to befriend girls they otherwise would never get to meet.
11. Because my crush joined
Some guys join a particular gym only because their crush is a member. The gym is the new park bench these days where dating begins and a love affair blossoms. You like someone and want to make an acquaintance? Why not join the gym where she goes?
12. Treat a gym membership card like a library membership card
It appears to be a societal necessity and one has to do it. So we take that first small step towards fitness. We become members of a gym. And then we carry the card around like a talisman which is supposed to protect us from all sorts of oily monsters and junk spirits. Like a library card, it remains in our wallets like an old coin.
13. Only biceps
Most Indians go to gym for only two kinds of purposes – making biceps and six-packs (in case of guys) and achieving a size zero in case of gals. They never are interested in aerobics or endurance or cardio, they have eyes only for the treadmill or the weights!
14. So much for gymmers, now let’s talk about gym instructors
Buy a few equipments and rent out a little space. Install a music system and get an AC. Lo! Your gym is complete! Most of the gym instructors need instruction themselves. From trying out weird weight-loss ideas to suggesting outrageous exercises, you might be the guinea pig for their experiments. Gymmers beware!
15. Daily Workout
I think the weirdest thing about the Great Indian Gym-goers would be attending gym itself. For the land of the gourmands and the gluttons, to see them religiously working out instead of assiduously gorging on all kinds of grub and nosh is itself no less than queer! The way to an Indian’s heart is through the stomach after all!