1. Shelling out money
A to B: ‘Just back from a vacation in Europe.’
B: ‘That must be thrilling. We had a gala time last week at my farmhouse in Jaipur.’
And the conversation continues. In nearly every chat, you will find the good old Indians boasting of their 3BHK flats and their BMWs, Audis and any other flashy highfalutin property they can proudly vaunt of owning. But when it comes to paying the bill, they will fight over the last paisa and try and cheat the poor waiter of his tip as well. However, some of them are not so patent in exhibiting their money-pinching tendencies. They will put up a generous casual smile, pretending that it doesn’t matter to them who pays, but after getting to their respective luxury homes, they will discuss about how stingy and money-minded the other one had been.
2. Paying Lip Service
Expatiating on lofty topics and high ideals is one of their favourite pastimes. Indians can prate about anything and everything especially the state of the world and the insensitivity of the people around, the poverty etc. Just ask them if they are a part of any NGO or involved in any community work, you will find that they have not even been attending their RWA meetings or paying their monthly donation in their society.
3. Boss’s pet
Work is its own reward. That is how Indians like to perceive our work. But that is not how they do our work. However much they call their boss names and resolve to give it to him/her the next time, you will find all of them getting sweets and gifts for their kind caring managers on their birthdays and festivals. Sycophants, they know pretty well how to suck up to their bosses.
4. Caste No Bar
They condemn the abhorrent goings-on in the country. They cannot believe how people can discriminate on the basis of caste. They gape at the khap panchayats banning the dalits from drinking water from the same well as the others. But…wait for it…they will not let their servants drink from the same glasses that they use or sit on the same couch as they do.
5. The Educated Indian
Every subject is equally important and there are no good and bad students. This is what every parent will tell their fellow parents and console them in case their kid doesn’t perform well at studies. But back home, they will force their kids to either go for engineering or medical professions and constantly keep tabs on how they are performing with respect to the ‘other’ kids. Talk about competition and stress. It all begins at home.
6. Swachh Bharat
“No country is as dirty as India” almost all of us have said this at one point of time or the other. And right after saying so, we have thrown the bottle of pepsi or a packet of chips on to the rubbish heap beneath a tree. So much for Swachh Bharat.
7. Ham Saath Saath Hain…
We Indians believe in the spirit of togetherness. So when someone gets a promotion or a new job, we are hellbent on pulling them down, however sweetly we congratulate them on their success. “If I can’t have it, you too can’t” seems to be their mantra. After all, ham saath saath hain…
8. Behind your back
They will be all wreathed in smiles, exchanging gifts on festivals and hugging each other but like the vamps on the TV soaps of Ekta Kapur, they will bitch profusely behind their back and hate them as much as they pretended to love their friends and relatives.
They can’t believe why riots take place. How can one fight on the basis of religion? God is one after all; there are just different ways to reach Him. But talk about an inter-religion or even an inter-caste marriage and you will have a riot there and then in your house.
They say female foeticides and infanticides are social evils restricted to rural areas. Perhaps. But domestic violence and widespread rapes and sexual assaults are rampant among the educated urban elite as well.
With double standards and dual personalities, Indians are a tough nut to crack.